Office Hours: “How important is networking, really?”
A student asked me this in class. Here’s the answer I gave — the honest one.
The question, roughly as it came in: “How important has networking been in your journey? Any advice for building real relationships with investors and mentors — specific strategies or platforms?”
Quick Answer: give back, don’t take.
That’s the whole strategy, and almost nobody does it. Most people treat networking as extraction — they walk into a room, or slide into a LinkedIn message, quietly doing the math on what the other person can do for them. People feel that instantly, and they close up. So flip it. Show up asking what you can do for them: an intro, a read on a problem, a name they should know. Do that long enough without keeping score and one day you look up and you have a network. You didn’t “build” it. You earned it.
Here’s the part people don’t want to hear: the reason networking feels hard isn’t strategy. It’s that putting yourself out there is uncomfortable. Nobody likes being the person who walks into the cocktail party alone. Nobody likes the risk of being ignored, or hearing no. I get it — I still feel it.
But think about what you’re actually trying to do. If you’re an entrepreneur, you’re trying to build something the world hasn’t seen yet. You don’t get to do that from the corner of the room. The discomfort isn’t a sign you’re doing it wrong; it’s the cost of doing it at all.
So go to the thing. Send the note. Ask the question. Give first. I personally use LinkedIn so carefully to fuel this method. Only connect to people you know. I didn’t say “people you meet” – I said “people you know.” Define that how you want, but it’s the way that your LinkedIn network will become powerful.
I’ve been asked to speak at many conferences and invariably at the end of my talk a large number of attendees will come up to me with questions and hand me business cards, or afterwards they’ll just send me a connection request on LinkedIn. I never accept. Think about your network and how three years from now a good friend or colleague comes to you and says “I noticed on LinkedIn that you’re connected to Mary Smith at XYZ Co. I would appreciate it if you make an introduction.” How do you respond, since you hardly remember Mary (if at all) least of all how you know her? You’re letting down a true connection of yours. Think of how you’d feel if you were making the request.
And one reframe that took me too long to learn: relationships compound. The intro you make today, for nothing in particular, is the reason someone takes your call in five years. You’re not networking for this deal. You’re networking for the person you’ll be three companies from now.